Today some sudden horrid thoughts attacked all in a rush. What if I marry a regular "nice guy" by accident? What if married life is much less exciting than my expectations? What if I never have kids and the opportunity to teach and nurture and grow younglings of my own as a legacy? Or what if I'm a terrible mom? Supposing I don't finish college, when my parents and grandparents are counting on me? Suppose I do, but I need to work and can never find anything better than selling chicken, again? Will I always sit at home mindlessly surfing the net, doing the endless circle of life that is dishes, and never get to do any big great work?
Sobering.
And almost in the next moment a warmth and a glory take fear's place. I remembered that Christ would still be with me, and I could rest in my all-sufficient Redeemer. Me, my whole life, can and should now be seen through Christ's glorious cross! All dulness He can make gleam. All misery He has made profitable and a way to fellowship with Him. All the unexpected little beauties and daily common things He's just waiting to show me and say, "See? I made that person able to smile! Guess who thought up that fly spider? And the cat with all her pert cleaning instincts and content thrummy insides? Sit and listen. I have saved you to know my glory! No life, knowing and showing that, is worthless!" I'm still praying for the godly husband beyond my dreams, and a great many more good things. But the greatest gift is already mine.
My quote book is practically full now, aside from a page or two with a bit of space left. Seeing it filled with scribbling is akin to finishing a journal, leaving one with a sort of satisfied "ah" inside just to hold it, turning the pages and remembering all the pleasant books in which the gleanings first dwelt. A bit like a scrapbook of words. Now I aim to re-do the cover. I never liked it much. It bears a quote about following your deepest heart's desire or some such pop-psycho mumbo. I'm going to do something with bits of paper, I think, a collage of sorts using a clearish glue called "Mod Podge". I have so much paper I should put to use, I just might do some other things at the same time.(at the end of the day)
Ah, here it is! Not quite what I expected, but I like it. I have tons of old Lord of the Rings calanders and such, and here I put some of them to use. Though it was hard at first ripping them. So precious...
~front cover~
~back cover~
