"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't."
~Polonius, from Hamlet~
~Polonius, from Hamlet~
This is my last week of regular classes. Next week is finals, and finally a week from tomorrow I shall graduate with my English degree. It has been wild, but it's already exciting to get to see small glimpses of the God's mighty plan behind and under and through it all. To Him be all the glory, for my grades, sanity, and so so much more!
I did not finish my NaNoWriMo novel. 15,000 out of 50,000 words was not bad for a first try, I think. I am definitely planning to try again next year. I refuse to be depressed and gloomy about my budding pages. The characters I met are alive and vibrant (to me, anyways), and the place they live is only frozen in time until I can get back there and finish writing their story. I intend to do it, and many more stories besides! Thanks to all who were encouraging me last month. The only reason I keep writing is because of you. And, of course, God. :-)
He's been working on me these last few days.
Monday was a horrid day. I woke up grumpy because I hadn't finished all my homework, so I rushed through an assignment, left a messy room, and was late to my first class. Then I found I had left my book at home and could only pretend to work on an in-class activity. By my next class, I felt ready to burst into tears, so I skipped it, which made me feel guilty on top of everything else.
It was not even any one thing that had me depressed. Maybe my pile of four papers, a creative project, and studying for a test for next week was a huge part of it. Maybe it was the ice on my windshield. Maybe it was the fact that I missed my morning cup of coffee. Anyway, I ended up with a headache, and after supper took a nap, which is usually the most effective medicine for me.
Around midnight I woke up. Headache was gone and replaced with such a comfortable cozy and relaxed feeling that I gave into it and went back to sleep. But I got up around 4:45 a.m., did my Bible reading, journaled, and finally cleaned my room while listening to the MP3 of Raising Dragons. The rest of the day (besides class time) I spent finding addresses, agonizing over proper forms of address, and carefully writing both on my graduation announcements.
After I finished late that night, it was such a satisfying feeling.
And then I watched the Prince Caspian trailer that was just released. :-) Not as thrilling and satisfying as watching the first one, and I might say something about my Puddleglum-ish complaints on it later. There are several weighty ones. But it was a small taste of what still might be a wonderful Narnia film, and I went to bed content.
That morning when I woke up I realized a small part of what God had done. He had used a headache, a messy room, and my act of writing announcements to remind me that I am not Him. I get too upset when I realize I can't do everything perfect, when I should remember that only He has that job covered. Papers too will pass away. Only His Word and people will endure (not that people are immortal on earth, but they will never cease to exist wherever they end up). What a relief to remember that! And it wasn't just remembering factually, in my brain: it was a huge perspective change.
I think doing the announcements was a huge part. I sometimes wonder if I am more encouraged when I send things to other people than they will be to get them. :) In this case it was just a plain announcement. But it made me think about other people, and my smallness, and my joy overflowed with the thought of God's hand.
God is bigger than the boogy man... and bigger than scary papers. All glory be to Him!