Do I Value Life?

I've been thinking about children, family, and the old question of "How many kids do you want?" lately.   Reading lots of blogs, writing rambling thoughts...  Some of it reminded me of why I believe as strongly as I do.  Some of it pointed out various lies and traps of Satan I have fallen into, generally regarding reactions motivated through fear.  But also a bad habit of almost worshiping big families for their numbers alone.

I confess, I need often be reminded that, as much fun as I think a huge family would be, the number God has in mind will be perfect, whether it be ten, one, or none. It is my inward attitude toward the sovereign God and my neighbors that is the most vital, as I was reminded in these words from Stacy MacDonald:

You see, it’s not about numbers—an out of wedlock mother of eight who is paid by the government to stay unmarried and dependent on the state could easily out breed most of us, if given enough incentive.

No; it’s about faithfulness. It’s about instilling in our children, our church, and our culture a passion for purity, children, family, and most of all, Jesus. It’s about raising up godly seed (Christian children) who aren’t focused on living for their own fleeting pleasures; but, are instead committed to glorifying God and enjoying Him forever—which involves loving one’s neighbor as one’s self.

"For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”" (Galatians 5:14, ESV)

But you see, before we can do that, we have to believe it. Really believe it. We have to believe it so much that we are living it out each day without even thinking. We must value each life as much as we value our own—way down deep…

Life. Its value, it seems, is measured only in what it offers us—or how it threatens to inconvenience us. The more I contemplate the value of children, the more I realize that my view of children is bound up in how I value life. Am I truly loving my neighbor, my own family, the lost, the poor? Am I looking for ways to bring more and more glory to my Lord?

…Here’s the thing. It’s not about whether or not you believe birth control is a sin. It’s really not about that at all, and in some ways it distracts us from the real point. The real issue is far, far more important. It’s about loving God, loving our neighbor, loving life, embracing His revealed will, and working hard to live out the Gospel honestly and faithfully before a watching...and desperate world. 

Read the rest of Stacy's gracious post

Honestly, I am selfish. Loving people, investing in their lives, is a challenge for me. Often I’d much rather go off and do my own thing – watch a movie, read a book, have time by myself with my own cup of tea. The mindset and life God calls us to is hard stuff! Do I have what it takes to love even one person for the rest of my life? Even for ten years? One year? A day?

No. Alone, I don’t. But with God, all things are possible.

Book Review - Glaen

Glaen - by Fred R. Lybrand

I’ve always been skeptical of books that claim to be novels but are actually nothing more than sermons in (lame) disguise.

Glaen was not one of those books.

The subtitle says it right off - A novel message on romance, love, and relating. No tricks. The message is the main point of the book. But once you know that, you can relax and dive into a compelling story woven through with relationship principles that we learn along with the main character, Annie.

Glaen reminded me a little of Peter Kreeft’s books in which Socrates travels to different places in time to have lively discussions with everyone from Marx to modern college professors. But more plot happens in Glaen, so it’s a bit more readable.

Enough about the style. What, you might ask, is the book actually about?

A Girl, a Professor, and an Assignment about... Relationships?

The Socrates-like character, the mysterious professor Glaen, helps Annie, a college student, with an assignment about how relationships work. She makes observations, notices lies and countering truths, and discovers the “secrets” of great relationships that are almost too simple to believe (but rarely practiced). Her observations come in the midst of interaction with her parents and friends.

This is not another dating vs. courtship book. I guarantee that the core principles in Glaen are applicable to you, whatever the state of your relationships – single, dating, or married. 

Personally Challenging

This book came out at a perfect time in my life! Not that I have fully begun to live out all the truths, by any means, but I have been given unmistakable opportunities to practice them.

I can’t give away the plot, or tell you everything Annie discovers – you’ll have to read the book yourself to find out! But I will share one truth (for now) and how it has challenged my thinking and actions.

Lie – If you follow the right process, you will be guaranteed a good marriage.

Countering Truth – No process can guarantee a good relationship, because there are no future guarantees in relationships. Relationships happen in the present.

A while back I adopted the notion that if I just do things carefully and right, God would give me a permanent (and reasonably perfect) marriage some day. To this end, I began reading about and clinging to the concept of courtship instead of dating. It seemed such a great plan, I thought.

But as various conversations in conjunction with this book have been teaching me, even the best plan cannot guarantee the future. Cling to good principles, yes, but then leave the future to God and focus on being honest, putting others first, speaking the truth in love, and relating without strings or requirements.

Here’s a quote to that effect that I copied and stuck on my desk:

When someone accepts the fact that she cannot know the future, then a new kind of power or opportunity comes into her life. She can quit trying to force and manipulate the future. She can quit trying to control her relationships. In fact, she should finally be able to start enjoying the relationship once she gives up on trying to guarantee its future.

Glaen, page 77

This principles in this book are tough, but in the end also incredibly freeing. If you’re hungry for truth that will help you start relating in a way that works, go with Annie and meet the strange character, Glaen.

Posted in the March of Books on YLCF

For the Sake of My Sisters

(another picture from my mother, taken on the snow day last week) 

I don't have anything monumental to share.  Plenty of little things have kept me busy... 

On second thought, I suppose one of those little things is big enough to post about; I've started hanging it with our youth group at church.

Depending on my reader, the topic of youth group might be controversial.  I might be making everyone shake their head in wonder at my confused and unwise little head, either regarding my past ideas or my current stance (again, depending on my reader).  So if you're getting ready to throw snowballs of disagreement, please throw gently, and don't put rocks in them! ;-)  This is my journey.  Yours may be different.  Let's love each other anyways, shall we?    

Funny, I never thought I'd be helping with a youth group.  Even a year ago I would have protested loudly.  Anything but that!  Some of this had to do with my own feelings of uncoolness (at 25 I can still feel, and unfortunately look, like an awkward 18-year-old).  But that was actually insecurity and pride in disguise.  Also, I thought youth groups were usually more damaging than helpful, since they have potential to splinter family time and lump a buch of immaturity together where it can be even more immature.

Some dear friends (on both sides!) may gasp in shock to hear me say all this, but I think I'm changing my mind: not all youth groups are fundamentally wrong. *gasp! shudder! stagger in shock!* 

Of course I still wish all familes would do everything together.  But until I have a husband to follow who decides how we will do things, and since neither of my parents object, I'm throwing my lot in with my curent church family, full of wise and godly folks.  I was asked to be an adult female presence at youth events, to engage in conversation with girls, to provide that five or ten minutes of attention that let them know they're loved and cared for.

To my own surprise, I was compelled and eager to say yes.  It's already exciting!

I still have my reservations.  (Hope those are allowed!) I still believe youth group can be damaging if it's only a way the younger set isolates itself from the rest of the church family.  And I still believe even the best youth group in the world cannot compare with parents discipling their own kids well.

But I also see a church in which those two concerns are largely answered by parents who really are discipling their kids and showing by example what godly adulthood is.  I see young people who serve each other, who serve the younger kids in nursury and AWANA, who serve their families and the community.  And I see little girls growing in young women, girls I know "of" but want to actually know, who I now have the opportunity to hang out with regularly in the midst of their busy schedule.  

Finally, I remember my short time in a different youth group about 8 years ago, when my world was falling apart, and how a dear youth leader's wife showed me love and attention and got me started journaling my thoughts to the Lord.  I've never been the same since.  If I can encourage even one young lady as much as I was encouraged, I would count my time worthwhile.    

That's not an arguement per se, just some of my rambling thoughts on how God is changing me, teaching me to walk with people in real life (Ephesians 4:1-3).  Sometimes my paradigms shift so wildly, it's embarrassing to tell anyone about the shift - ether they can't believe what I think now, or they can't believe I ever thought what I did.  But I want to record these for my own benefit, and perhaps they will encourage someone else, too.

And MBC youth, you're stuck with me and my funny hats, silly accents, and uncoolness for a while! ;-)

~ ~ ~

Now, on a very different note, here are a few thoughtful posts on Christmas I can across lately.  They were so lovely, from two beauty-loving Christian ladies, that I wanted to share them:

The first is from farmer's wife, homeschooling mom, and poetess, Ann Voskamp:

4 Ways to Celebrate Christ in Christmas

And the second is from a sweet southern lady, Lanier Ivester, a homemaker, literary artist, and shepherdess:

Glad and Golden Hours

A fine weekend to you all! 

Am I too comfortable?

Disturb us, Lord, when 

We are too well pleased with ourselves, 
 

When our dreams have come true 

Because we have dreamed too little, 
 

When we arrive safely 

Because we sailed too close to the shore. 


Disturb us, Lord, when 

With the abundance of things we possess

We have lost our thirst for the waters of life;

Having fallen in love with life, 

We have ceased to dream of eternity
,

And in our efforts to build a new earth, 
 

We have allowed our vision 

Of the new Heaven to dim. 


Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, 

To venture on wider seas 


Where storms will show your mastery; 


Where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. 


 

We ask You to push back 

The horizon of our hopes; 

And to push us into the future 

in strength, courage, hope, and love. 


 

This we ask in the name of our Captain, who is Jesus Christ. 

 

Sir Francis Drake, 1577 

 

 

*"The Hostage" was painted by Edmund Blair Leighton.

Dynamic Tensions

In the last Next Step class of this morning, we looked at the pattern of seeming contradictions in Scripture:

Jesus is God and Man

The Trinity is three and one

We are to be Striving and Content

We are to be Hungry and Filled with righteousness

God is sovereign and man has free will

Christ is in time and Christ is outside time

We can living for this moment and for eternity

All these dynamic tensions don't make sense to us. Being brought up with a western Greek philosophy of thinking, of relying on wisdom, we can hardly imagine seeming contradictions actually both being true. But the Scripture is full of them! Holding the tension, admitting the paradoxes are confusing, can actually lead us to walking by faith! God is God, and His ways are more than we can understand. We can trust Him. We can and should use the reason and wisdom He gives us, but He is the one on whom to lean.

This stuff is blowing me away!

Quote on Boxes

Here's a quote that gives a taste of what the Next Step classes are about. Quite challenging!

"A box is anything that takes the Kingdom of God in its immensity and tries to twist it, wash it, shine it, doll it up, mix it up with other things or otherwise shrink it to our will. We just can't help doing it. It's a big part of being human. Watch any typical two-year-old, and you will see it in action even with imperfect earthly parents.

"But that doesn't make trying to put the Kingdom in a box any less of a waste of time and a degradation to the dignity of God's calling for us."

~ Tim Dunn, Happiness Unboxed ~

And on a lighter note,

(reading beginning of Job) "'There was a man in the land of Uz' - that's where the Wizard of Uz came from." ~ Tim Dunn