Remembering His Benefits

Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
~Psalm 103:1,2~

Way back when I was a smallish child of six, I wrote my first journal entry.

Translation: “One day, me, Sam, and Mama went to a wedding.”

It was my first wedding to attend, and I was duly impressed (both with the ceremony and, of course, the cake and punch afterwards!) so I apparently thought it an event deserving of record. This morning I got out that first old journal to read, laugh over, and remember. I might share some especially funny entries later, if anyone would like to see them. :-)

I’ve been thinking – for all my years of journaling (my spelling and handwriting have improved just a little, and perhaps I'm more wordy now), how often have I deliberately written careful letters and thoughts for future generations? Am I actively seeking to record God’s providences in my life? Am I keeping a record of my life story to pass on to my children so they can see that God’s faithfulness? And am I seeking to always remember, myself?

I can look at that first journal entry now and be grateful for so much. Attending that wedding was one of many opportunities my mother took to teach me that marriage is wonderful and serious, a promise before God meant to last a lifetime. I’m sure I wore a dress, and I can be thankful that I was always provided with only modest clothes, no matter how young I was. I was six, and that made me remember that I’d already learned to read and started to write (some might look at my scribbling and phonetically-correct spelling and disagree!), and the “One day” beginning showed my early love of stories.

I’ve been reminded again just how surely thankfulness cures misery, boredom, and plain old grumpiness. Not saying a vague and hurried, “Thanks, God, for everything… now, make everything better, please.” Um, nope. Not that I would know that doesn’t work from experience. *cough*

Of course we can be brief in our prayers, and of course when we don’t know specifics of something, God does. But I think He likes us to be specific when we can. And it’s so good for us! I find this in the (to often procrastinated) joy of writing thank-you notes. To write them, to speak of specific things people have done for me, is to remember my blessings and how special people are to me.

And thanking the Lord, especially recording those blessings, is a great way to glorify and delight in Him.

Here, the shepherd-poet David remembers God’s benefits to him:

Who pardons all your iniquities;
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit;
Who crowns you with lovingkindess and compassion;
Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
~Psalm 103:3-5~

A truly thankful heart is a delight, because it focuses on what we’ve already been given, on remembering, on pondering God’s faithfulness. Even if it’s only through the clumsy scribbles of a child, our Father is glorified. And though we’re only on earth for part the Great Story, even our frail hands can help in the telling.

(Image: Frodo writing in the Red Book, from The Return of the King)

Do Hard Things - book review

This is what we call the Rebelution: throwing off the shackles of lies and low expectations and returning our generation to a true and very exciting understanding of the teen years—not as a vacation from responsibility but as a launching pad for the rest of our lives.

~Alex and Brett Harris, from their new book Do Hard Things~

I pre-ordered several copies of this book, knowing it would be above average. It finally came, and indeed, it’s not your everyday book written by teens. (Um, there aren’t many of those, are there? Let’s say it’s not your everyday book, period.)

In the book, the Harris twins offer an expanded, in-depth look at the rebelutionary concept of doing hard things. They talk about the myth of adolescence and the potential the teen years hold. They detail five kinds of Hard Things. And they show practical ways they can be accomplished. Much of the content is familiar to me since it’s similar to articles on their blog, but it’s great to have a book-length look at Doing Hard Things.

It’s challenging. Maybe especially to those of us already past our teen years who know we could be doing more, striving for bigger and better things, and we don’t even have the excuse of being teenagers anymore. Of course, part of the whole point of the book is that being a teen is no excuse, and that they should and can rebel against low expectations. But the Do Hard Things mindset is something all Christians should have. It’s just incredibly sensible, useful, fulfilling, and possible to do so at an early age.

The stories are probably the most challenging parts of the book, since they are real-life (historical and modern) examples of teens doing real-life hard things from overcoming sickliness, buying and learning to use recording equipment, running political campaigns, beating procrastination (ouch!), designing top-quality survey programs, captaining ships, and more. Alex and Brett also do a consistent, thoughtful job of backing their points with Scripture, making their message all the more powerful.

I’m not quite finished with the book. It’s a good length. The cover design is really cool. It has an intro by Chuck Norris, if that interests anyone. (Half a year ago, I had no clue who this cool guy was who got all the jokes made about him…”You don’t know who Chuck Norris is?!?!?” was usually followed by uninformative silence. Now I know he’s a real person, not some mythical character, and I chiefly think he’s cool because he’s a Christian and admires the Harris twin’s character and message.)

I may put up more quotes from the book later, or talk about some hard things I’m attempting. For now, I recommend buying the book (or here's a cheaper autographed one) and/or reading the blog. These guys have a message that is changing lives because of its grounding in truth. I think God is using it to change mine, and only time and effort will tell where He’ll take me next.

Breaks, Boxes, and Biddies

As I claimed I actually do more with my life than read and order books, it is high time I gave a bit of an account of my doings. Think ye 'tis so? I agree.

The Break
This past week I finally made it back to Abilene to visit my college family, the Istres. That visit itself would be material for a dozen posts if I were being as regular a poster as I still hope to be. For now I'll just say I hung out with rabbits, chickens, cows, kitties, and mice, got caught up on the continuing saga of the Lox and Thingamamjigs (which the kids are writing and illustrating in spiral notebooks), eagerly studied Chelsa's homemaking notebook and showed her mine, and did so many fun things with the dear family it is hard to remember them all. Perhaps the quiet, unremarkable times just being with them were the most precious.

(From top left, going clockwise) Here Sierra, Steel, Samantha, and Sterling work on one of many Lox and Thingamajig books.

One of my favorite days, though, was Thursday, after the main chores and school had been done. We all went down to the (not so) Clear fork of the Brazos River, which runs along the back of their land. Sometimes the kids' daily exercise is a walk down the road, but this was much more exciting for me. I didn't plan on getting in, yet before I knew it, I was almost up to my knees helping them move a log to make a bridge. The log turned out too short, but once I was in I realized it had been far too long since I'd waded in a river. The day was perfect and sunny, the rushing water cold around my toes in their blue foam shoes, and I felt like a kid on an adventure. After going upriver a ways, most of us sat on the grassy bank to dry, while I began to read aloud from The Hobbit. Such a delightful morning. Not even spots of murky water (and thoughts of leeches) or a wet skirt could dampen it. ;)

The Boxes
As I said, last week's visit could fill many more blog posts. So for now I'll move on to what else has been happening in my family since my return. We have been doing precisely that: moving!


I knew we were moving to another house fairly soon, perhaps around May or so, but I came home to a very frumpled house that was fairly on its way to being dismantled already!

Oh.

The Lord has shown me that I'm not quite so selfless and composed and patient as I like to believe. Why can't we do things this way, or put this here, or do it in this order? This house doesn't even have __________ (fill in anything not normally in a smallish, oldish, oddish sort of house). What a horrible color on the inside of those cabinets! Not to mention all the other things I'd rather be (and/or feel I ought to be) doing.

But what a grand opportunity to practice patience, thankfulness, and cheerfulness in following the Lord where He takes us! May it not be wasted.

Above: So, I didn't get a photo, but this afternoon I was over at the new(to us) house cleaning. It was actually pretty fun, though it would have been more fun if I'd worn an apron. ;)

The Biddies
Finally, my most exciting news. I have new pets, wonderful creatures I brought home from the Istre farm. Four beautiful, chirpy young chickens. Don't laugh... well, alright, I give you permission if you must. Nevertheless, I am serious about raising these quirky birds. Do I know what I'm getting myself into? Not entirely. But I'm fairly certain these pets will be more exciting and productive than any old cat, dog, or hamster.

Left: Whit working on the chicken coop, while the friendly Rhode Island Red and the shyer Barred Rock check out his progress

If anyone has ideas for good chicken names, I'd welcome them. They're all hens. I'm thinking something classic and respectable for the lovely young ladies, yet not too frilly for everyday use. Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy is the closest I've come, but that doesn't quite fit, somehow... ;)

Upcoming: Do Hard Things

Do you like challenging books? Like ordering things online? See my new sidebar banner?

This to let you all know about the revelutionary, eherm, Rebelutionary book coming out soon that specifially encourages and challenges teens to rebel against low expectations by doing hard things. I'm not a teenager anymore, technically, but have been very challenged by the Harris twins' message. I actually ordered the book from Barnes and Noble, since I had a gift card to use, but pre-ordering from Amazon will do loads to drive up the publicity. People need to know about this book. So, think about buying it.

(More about my life later. I am doing more than reading and ordering books. ;)

Auralia's Colors

Auralia's Colors, by Jeffrey Overstreet

I don’t often impulsively buy books, but this was one. The cover looked so cool, I had to pick it up and feel it. And the back had a review by Kathy Tyers, author of the Firebird series. AND then I saw the author had written some stuff for Christianity Today…

Ah ha, I thought! A fantasy book written by a Christian! Could it be good, or more than good?

The plot sounded promising. After reading a chapter or so in the store, I was hooked. I still had money on a gift card, so I got it, almost as excited to be supporting a Christian fantasy writer as to have a new exciting story to read. But of course, the story’s the main thing. ;-)

This tale Overstreet weaves is enchanting. Not only is it an interesting and unpredictable plot, with unpredictable and charming characters, but his language sneaks up on one with stunning bits of poetry. And there are deeper truths shimmering on the edges, mysterious and creative, but as sure as the coming sunrise.

It has been a long, long time since I have finished a book that left me with such a swirling sea of emotions inside.

It was deeply , and sad, and horribly haunting.

So many things happened toward the end, loose threads nearly forgotten woven back in with great weight and purpose. Such beautiful loss, and fragile hope. It will take me a while to soak in the ending. What does one do with one’s self after finishing such a moving story? I already want to re-read certain echoing passages that clearly whisper truth.

Be forwarned. It ends well, but there are other threats looming, and the sequel doesn't come out until September.

(Disclaimer/Warning: It is quite violent and gruesome in spots, and a few made-up words used in name-calling. And there are certain sorts of sin hinted at a little more than I prefer. ;( So this is definitely not a children’s book. I suppose it’s a little worse than That Hideous Strength, though mostly the same sort of nastiness. Nothing bad claiming to be good.)

Edit: Thanks to one poster's comment, I found and changed my spelling error. My apologies to Mr. Jeffrey (not Jeffery) Overstreet.

A tiny exquisite exerpt

The forest went on dreaming while Auralia folded her thoughts and set them aside for the night. She sat on the cliff edge, swinging her feet into space as if she might find a foothold and walk away on the air.

~Auralia's Colors, by Jeffery Overstreet~

Review of this book to follow as soon as I finish reading it. Be excited; I am! ;)

Laundry: fighting a long defeat?

Today I fought the laundry beast, and for today I think I've nearly won! For today. Of course it shall rise again, in all its filth, wrinkles, and smelliness. But this, and other things, such as the ever-returning dirty dish, must be met with relentless courage down the years, knowing still they will come back.

This makes me think of what the elven lady Galadriel said about Celeborn her husband:

'He has dwelt in the West since the days of dawn, and I have dwelt with him years uncounted; for ere the fall of Nargothrond or Gondolin I passed over the mountains, and together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat.'

The long defeat. They were fighting and resisting evil for thousands of years, knowing they could not defeat it wholy, and yet they counted it not done in vain.


I suppose their sacrifice makes a few loads of laundry seem rather small.

"Pleasures forever!"

Thou wild make known to me the path of life;
In Thy presence is fullness of joy;
In Thy right hand there are pleasures forever. ~Psalm 16:11~

This was the verse I copied down in my journal from my reading this morning. God's promises to his children are so amazing that often I'm too preoccupied to slow down and ponder them in all their weight. Too rarely do I seek His wisdom, His presence, His right hand! Yet His goodness and mercy keep following, following...

On top of the overwhelming promises, this verse is also lovely poetry! I highly recommend reading the Psalms out loud, since they were mostly songs in the first place. I don't do it enough, but speaking the words slowly and expressively sometimes helps me notice more things.

Elf "Magic" in Lothlorien

'If there's any magic about, it's right down deep, where I can't lay my hands on it, in a manner of speaking.'

'You can see and feel it everywhere,' said Frodo.

'Well,' said Sam, 'You can't see nobody working it. No fireworks like poor Gandalf used to show.'

~

'I fancy now that she could do some wonderful things, if she had a mind. I'd dearly love to see some Elf-magic, Mr. Frodo!'

'I wouldn't,' said Frodo. 'I am content. And I don't miss Gandalf's fireworks, but his bushy eyebrows, and his quick temper, and his voice.'

'You're right,' said Sam. 'And don't think I'm finding fault. I've often wanted to see a bit of magic like what it tells of in old tales, but I've never heard of a better land than this. It's like being at home and on a holiday at the same time, if you understand me.'

~ ~ ~

'And you?' she said, turning to Sam. 'For this is what your folk would call magic, I believe; though I do not understand clearly what they mean; and they seem to use the same word of the deceits of the Enemy. '

~Colored-pencil drawing by J.R. R. Tolkein, black-and-white pencil drawing by Rael Henson~

Piper on Romans

While cleaning, cooking, and puttering, I've been listening to John Piper's sermon series on Romans. It's been amazing, because the gospel of God's grace is amazing! After listening to seven sermons, he's only covered 15 verses, so it's going to take me a while to get through them all. But I love going slow through the Bible, being able to savor and ponder and study powerful little words and phrases, and thus better understanding the whole chapter, book, and unified Scripture.

Piper revels and delights in God's glory and grace with a passion that shakes my soul. He's also one of the most wise and thoughtful men I've heard preach. And what he says is sometimes uncomfortably convicting. Oh that I can better come to know and love my Lord with that sort of rock-firm fervor, and that I will have a greater desire to share His grace with others!

~~~

When you hear good news about how to escape from a common misery, you become a debtor to tell the good news to others so they can escape the misery too. You owe it to them. Why? Because if you withhold the good news of grace from others, as if you were qualified for it, and they were not, then you show that you have never known grace. The grace of God which calls us (verse 6) out of our darkness and bestows eternal covenant-love on us (verse 7) creates what it commands. We don't qualify for it beforehand.

Grace is precious beyond words. It is our only hope as sinners. We don't deserve it from God. And no one can deserve it from us. When it comes to us freely, we are debtors to give freely.

By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org

A Morning-in-the-Life of Rael

The following is a summary account of my day thus far. If it gives anyone ideas or encouragement, fabulous! But I expect its main purpose shall be informative, both to a few sweet ladies (Charity and Chelsa, who commented encouragingly on my last post), and to myself, in case I get frustrated later and need some encouragement. It sometimes helps to remember what one has done already by God's unending grace!

5:45-ish
For breakfast I made Mommy and Whit an omelet, which they split. I fluffed up the egg whites by hand with a whisk, and was surprised at how lovely and poofy they stayed! I do need practice folding the things in half neatly. I filled it with cheese and already-cooked bacon. There was also toast. For myself I ended up with a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich since I'd already put the whisk and bowl in the dishwasher... "Keep your station clean!" is indeed good advice, but sometimes it might be good to consider more use of the same dish before loading it.

6:15
Quiet time reading Bible and prayer journaling.

7:15
I planned to start off writing here, but found that after an hour of sitting I was restless. So I got up and puttered for about 15 minutes, opening blinds, feeding the cat, etc. My fidgets did get out, some, and then I sat down to write.

7:30
Wrote more of Nibbles' story. Didn't quite finish, but I'm practically at the climax! I had to go slow for a part to think up some rhymes. Took a small break or two somewhere in here.

10:00
Felt written out. Took a 15 minute break.

10:15
Cleaned both bathrooms. I have a list of big chores that ought to be done at least once a week, and this was the one I chose for today (because I'm not so fond of it, but expected to have lots of enegry today). I left an hour for this one, but finished by 10:50.

10:50
For this next chunk of time I wrote ambiguously, "Make lunch, eat, clean kitchen, check and answer e-mails, etc." I decided to check e-mails (and my blog for fresh comments) first. Answered one, which took a while because I love talking to the family. ;) After a few minutes too long reading a blog, I got up to investigate the kitchen for lunch ideas. I was expecting my mom home about 12:30, and wasn't sure what she'd like. We had some yummy soup in the fridge, which is quick to heat up, so after some deliberation decided to not cook anything fresh except maybe a desert. So I set about making a lemon-rosemary crumb cake. The picture looked so delicate and savory! It took longer than I expected, but came out wonderful, if rather subtly timid on flavor. While it was cooking I made a fruit salad. Yummy! I love it when I make myself take time to fix food, which has been far too rare in the past.

2:00 p.m.
Ate fruit salad and crumb cake. :-) By this time I knew I was not on schedule, having planned to be done with lunch and writing this post at 1 p.m. But that's alright.

I'm going to work at the MCA concession stand from about 3:30-5. Parents with kids in basketball have to fulfill a certain number of volunteer hours, or let older children fulfill them. :-) I might run by the library before coming home.

Stay tuned for more of my home-ish doings later! May the Lord recieve all the glory for anything good I do. He is more than able!

Thoughts on Coming Home

As I mentioned before in teeny tiny letters, I have officially graduated from college with a B.A. in English. Yay! :-)

How does it feel? Well, I'm thrilled! Ecstatic. Thankfully relieved. And terribly nervous, in a mostly good sort of way.

Ever since I was little I have wanted to follow in my dear mother's footsteps and be a homemaker. Over the years this desire has grown. Many of the decisions I have made, and hopefully many more to follow, have been practical ways of preparing for my future calling. Choosing English as a major, which is a useful area of study for anyone, any time or position in life, and not simply a degree only justified by a following career. Attending a university only 2 and 1/2 hours away from home, so I could visit frequently. Living with a close-knit, God-centered homeschooling family for my last three semesters who gave me unending encouragement, ideas, delight, and vision. Only taking small part-time summer jobs to leave room for time with family, at home or abroad. And finally, despite many confident assertions from professors that I was "graduate school material," returning home to live with and serve my mother and brothers.

I think it will be the best way to prepare for what I'll likely be doing the rest of my life once I get married (being a helpmeet and mother), but even if that never happens, I believe it will be the most sensible and fulfilling and God-honoring place for me to be.

It's going to be an adventure quite unlike my last big quest for a college diploma. Actually, it might be very similar to my old days of homeschooling! Here are some similarities:

1. I'll be home a lot, working on self-motivation for lifelong learning.
   
2. I'll have lots of chances to waste time, or redeem it amazingly.
   
3. I'll be able to spend more time with my family and friends, to more freely serve the Church and the needy.

A big difference between now and my "official" homeschool days: I am done with Saxon Math! Um, that is until I have my own kids... hopefully they can get assistance from their father or a math-minded uncle. ;)

Another difference will be the new responsibilities I want to take on seriously (cooking), new habits to form (regular hours of writing each day*), and the challenge of sticking to my own schedule while still being flexible to allow for the bending wind-breath of the Still Small Voice. . .

Tomorrow will be the first day my family goes back to school, and my first official day of not being in school or working. Oh, wait, I shall be working! My job will begin around 5:15, because three days a week, Whit has basketball practice at 6:30 A.M.! I shall try to feed him, but he knows it won't be wise to eat much before a tough workout. Then I have the rest of my day divided up... I might post tomorrow on what my plan's specifics, and how things turn out. :-)

If anyone has advice, thoughts, or words of wisdom, I would more than welcome it!

*Because of course I still intend to write books. Long ones, and many, muhahahah! ;-)

Bombadil and Smith

Well, I'm going to try explaining what I hinted at in my last post. Essentially, Tom Bombadil struck me just the other day as being rather like a wildly jolly and unpredictable man named Innocent Smith in G. K. Chesterton's book Manalive! Here are some similarities they share:

• big man, but able to move quickly and nimbly
• laughs at danger and evil
• mysterious and enigmatic
  
• wears brightly-colored clothes
  
• possesses quite a hat
  
• would go to the ends of the earth for his wife (to court her again or fetch water lilies)
• seems to arrive at the right time to help in a way that wasn't expected

If anyone else has read both and would like to add to the comparison or mention contrasts, be my guest! If you haven't, I recommend both books highly. Manalive! really is a fun book, especially worth reading with someone. And I'm in the middle of The Fellowship of the Ring at the moment, which is as always wonderful in more ways than I can say. But I'll save that for another post. :-)

A Chestertonian Christmas Poem

G. K. Chesterton was a great Christian writer who not only influenced the Inklings, but might even be a match for C. S. Lewis's wit and Tolkien's humor. I know I've mentioned him before and I shall again, perhaps very soon. (I have a theory about one of his characters getting into LotR, but I'll save that for later.) I present to you now, for your delight and wonder, a poem he wrote that is fitting for this special night:


The House of Christmas

There fared a mother driven forth
Out of an inn to roam;
In the place where she was homeless
All men are at home.
The crazy stable close at hand,
With shaking timber and shifting sand,
Grew a stronger thing to abide and stand
Than the square stones of Rome.

For men are homesick in their homes,
And strangers under the sun,
And they lay their heads in a foreign land
Whenever the day is done.
Here we have battle and blazing eyes,
And chance and honor and high surprise,
But our homes are under miraculous skies
Where the yule tale was begun.

A Child in a foul stable,
Where the beasts feed and foam;
Only where He was homeless
Are you and I at home;
We have hands that fashion and heads that know,
But our hearts we lost - how long ago!
In a place no chart nor ship can show
Under the sky's dome.

This world is wild as an old wife's tale,
And strange the plain things are,
The earth is enough and the air is enough
For our wonder and our war;
But our rest is as far as the fire-drake swings
And our peace is put in impossible things
Where clashed and thundered unthinkable wings
Round an incredible star.

To an open house in the evening
Home shall all men come,
To an older place than Eden
And a taller town than Rome.
To the end of the way of the wandering star,
To the things that cannot be and that are,
To the place where God was homeless
And all men are at home.


For those who read my blog and haven't talked to me recently (or ever) in real life, yes, I did graduate. Hurrah, and thanks be to God! I'll do more regular catching up on my doings soon. :-)

The glory of glorifying the Glorious One

"Though this be madness, yet there is method in't."
~Polonius, from Hamlet~

This is my last week of regular classes. Next week is finals, and finally a week from tomorrow I shall graduate with my English degree. It has been wild, but it's already exciting to get to see small glimpses of the God's mighty plan behind and under and through it all. To Him be all the glory, for my grades, sanity, and so so much more!

I did not finish my NaNoWriMo novel. 15,000 out of 50,000 words was not bad for a first try, I think. I am definitely planning to try again next year. I refuse to be depressed and gloomy about my budding pages. The characters I met are alive and vibrant (to me, anyways), and the place they live is only frozen in time until I can get back there and finish writing their story. I intend to do it, and many more stories besides! Thanks to all who were encouraging me last month. The only reason I keep writing is because of you. And, of course, God. :-)

He's been working on me these last few days.

Monday was a horrid day. I woke up grumpy because I hadn't finished all my homework, so I rushed through an assignment, left a messy room, and was late to my first class. Then I found I had left my book at home and could only pretend to work on an in-class activity. By my next class, I felt ready to burst into tears, so I skipped it, which made me feel guilty on top of everything else.

It was not even any one thing that had me depressed. Maybe my pile of four papers, a creative project, and studying for a test for next week was a huge part of it. Maybe it was the ice on my windshield. Maybe it was the fact that I missed my morning cup of coffee. Anyway, I ended up with a headache, and after supper took a nap, which is usually the most effective medicine for me.

Around midnight I woke up. Headache was gone and replaced with such a comfortable cozy and relaxed feeling that I gave into it and went back to sleep. But I got up around 4:45 a.m., did my Bible reading, journaled, and finally cleaned my room while listening to the MP3 of Raising Dragons. The rest of the day (besides class time) I spent finding addresses, agonizing over proper forms of address, and carefully writing both on my graduation announcements.

After I finished late that night, it was such a satisfying feeling.

And then I watched the Prince Caspian trailer that was just released. :-) Not as thrilling and satisfying as watching the first one, and I might say something about my Puddleglum-ish complaints on it later. There are several weighty ones. But it was a small taste of what still might be a wonderful Narnia film, and I went to bed content.

That morning when I woke up I realized a small part of what God had done. He had used a headache, a messy room, and my act of writing announcements to remind me that I am not Him. I get too upset when I realize I can't do everything perfect, when I should remember that only He has that job covered. Papers too will pass away. Only His Word and people will endure (not that people are immortal on earth, but they will never cease to exist wherever they end up). What a relief to remember that! And it wasn't just remembering factually, in my brain: it was a huge perspective change.

I think doing the announcements was a huge part. I sometimes wonder if I am more encouraged when I send things to other people than they will be to get them. :) In this case it was just a plain announcement. But it made me think about other people, and my smallness, and my joy overflowed with the thought of God's hand.

God is bigger than the boogy man... and bigger than scary papers. All glory be to Him!