Boundless Summer Challenge - Task 9

Today's assignment was to perform a random act of service and kindness for someone.  

I offered free babysitting to a young mom.  She's been sick lately, and I offered to give her a break by playing with her little boy.  And/or, if she and her husband want to go on a date night later, I could watch him then. She hasn't got back to me yet, but I said I would keep bugging her so she knows I'm serious. ;-) 

I've been wanting to do this more, since it's something I as a single have time for, and it's a way to bless and encourage married people. :-)  It's also a way I can get a glimpse into their life, and perhaps appreciate more the trials (and joys!) of taking care of a child, something they do every day!  AND, it's a good reminder that these folks are my family, and I want them to be able to rely on me now and then as I will definitely need to rely on them!    

That's it!  I'm only sorry I didn't do more today! I suppose I'm allowed to do them later, not for the Challenge, right? ;-)  Some of the ideas, like paying for someone's meal or coffee anonymously, sounded like too much fun!

Boundless Summer Challenge - Tasks 7 and 8

This weekend, the Task had two parts.  I shall now report on both, and end with today's Task.

(Task 7, part 1) To wrap up Relationship Week:

The assignment was to spend some time with an elderly person and ask them about their relationship successes and failures, and what they've learned.  The neighbor I planned to talk to was out of town, so I ended up calling my grandma (who came over only Friday, but I missed my chance then).  It a little awkward, since we don't usually talk about anything too serious on the phone (aside from gardens and brothers and cat stories, which are entierly serious), but I decided I'd rather tell her right off about the challenge, and she was eager to help. 

She started dating my grandpa at 15 (!), and married him at 18.  And interestingly, her advice to folks nowdays was to not rush impatiently into marriage.  We both agreed that people are far less likely nowdays to marry so young.  Much more emphasis on college, starting carreers, doing other stuff... Being the dedicated Boundless reader that I am, I found myself wanting to go into a long discussion about how maybe her generation had their priorities straighter than ours... but I thankfully didn't say (very) much.  Anyways, the point of the Task was to listening to her, not hear myself talk! :P  Ick.  Learning more how bad a listener I often am.  What have I been missing?   

Once I decided to be quiet, I think my eyes started opening.  It makes sense now why she has always been so emphatic about us kids going to college - she never did, and I think she feels she missed out on lots of stuff.  Hmm.  Even as I still hope to be married, and often wish I had been married years ago when I had all my prime childbearing years before me (25 is supposedly the peak, after which fertility in women begins to decline) I should remember that this time as a single need not be wasted.  There are many productive things to do for God.  And the grass can always look greener, married or not. 

Another thing she saw was that sometimes people got married who, though still married years down the road, could not be heard to say one kind word to one another!  She said it is definitely good to be friends and to have common interests.    

One last thing - my grandma told me about my grandpa bringing her flowers - roses, wildflowers, and just recently some squash blossoms! ;-)  How sweet. :-)    I told her I was so thankful for their marriage. 


(Task 7, part 2) To start off Community Week:

The next assignment was to listen to or read a sermon by John Piper.  I've been a fan of his for a while, and his sermons are always so passionate and instructive, so this was no pain. :-) 

One of the things that struck me was his words for those who feel they have nothing to offer to the Body.  Maybe we're disabled, or clumsy, or inept, or whatever.  Some would tell us we need self-esteem.  But we actually need God-esteem.  Romans 12:6 says we have gifts, and we should use them.  So to claim we have none is not a sort of humility - it is actually, whether knowingly or ignorantly, calling God a liar, and being a rebel! 

I don't want to rebel against God!  So I need to watch what I say about myself.  And I need to graciously remind others that they have gifts, given by God, for the good of others.  And as Piper said, the best way to "find ourselves" is not alone off in the woods somewhere.  It is with our family, life rubbing on life, seeing for my brother, my sister, what they cannot see themselves.  And letting them see for me. 




Task 8 - Memorize Romans 12:3-8

I've started this one, but it will take me a few days.  It's rather a sizeable passage, and today was quite full.  Good stuff to have memorized, though!  I printed it in a cool font, and am carrying it around with me to work on in spare moments. 

I've been thinking lately about my dear local church family.  For the past year or two, I feel like I've been on a honeymoon with them.  Now, as I've been getting to know people better, it's like any relationship - flaws become evident, weaknesses and inadequacies show up.  Basically, what could have become an idol is crumbling.  Which is good!  The trick at this point is to press on with them, and remember that even imperfect people are absolute treasures, as near and dear to me as my own arms and legs.  Which they are, literally in the spiritual sense.  I need them.  And wonder of wonders, they need me!  I no longer need be critical if someone is not the best of ears - maybe he's an eye.  I can now appreciate him for his ear-y-ness. ;-)  Another person might be an eye, but maybe they need me to be the best toungue I can be for them.

Just thinking about this makes me ecstatic.  Maybe the honeymoon doesn't need to end. ;-)  I love how God set us up to help and depend on one another.  So glad Church is more than a Sunday morning gathering!    So glad God gave us weird and hilarious illustrations to help us remember!

(Some of) What I'll Be Doing This Weekend

July 16-18: Relationships Week/Community Week

1. To wrap up week one's focus on relationships, make plans to spend time with an elderly person this weekend — someone from church, an older family member, someone at the local nursing home, someone from work. Ideally, you'd be with them in person, but if that's just not feasible, it's OK to chat with them on the phone. Sensitively ask them about their relationship successes and failures, and what they've learned from those relationships.
2. After you've completed this task, write a comment below: Describe your experience spending time with this person and what you were able to learn from them.
3. To start off the second week of the Challenge's focus on Community, Listen to or read this sermon by Dr. John Piper: "We, Though Many, are one Body in Christ," based on Romans 12:1-8.
4. After you've completed the reading, write a comment below: What new insights about Christian community did you gain from this sermon?

This is basically two tasks, but we get the whole weekend to do them.  They both look quite enjoyable!  The first thing I must do is to either decide which elderly person to seek out... or to keep my eyes for someone I was going to run into anyways.... I think I'd better start off being strategic, and if God wants to bring a random person into my path instead, I'll try to watch for that opportunity as well.  The rules doesn't say you can't talk with more than one elderly person. ;-)

Cheerio until Monday, or sooner! :-)  I'm off to clean the kitchen and listen to the end of a Tommy and Tuppence mystery!

Boundless Summer Challenge - Task 6

Yesterday's task was a bit difficult.  That's why I didn't even finish writing this until today.

One of the reasons I have rarely done specific "relationship" posts on this blog is that I don't think I can say anything well that hasn't already been said excellently, whether on Boundless, or YLCF, or by the wise elders at my church.  Also, I simply feel unqualified, as a single lady who has been terrified of guys for much of her life, to give advice on getting married! 

Here's the Task instructions:  

1.  Read through some of these articles and make a list of essentials in a marriage partner. Take a few minutes to pray about your requirements, sincerely asking God to show you what qualities He desires in your partner.

• If you're single, then make a list of people you are "interested" in (even if only mildly) and cross out the ones who do not meet the above essentials. Hm.
• If you're dating or engaged, take time to think about ways you could improve this relationship and discuss with your fiancé what qualities you really appreciate about them.
• If you're married, go back to those things that drew you to that person and the qualities they have that you appreciate. Talk to them about this.

2.  After you've completed the bullet points above, write a comment below[on the Boundless Line post], exploring in general terms (no specifics needed) a couple of the qualities that you identified.

Make a list of people you're even mildly interested in?  Hmm.  That's a bit odd.  Sounds almost like trying to decide which house to buy.  But I guess the point of this is not so much the precise people on the list.  Mainly, it's to see if we're being biblically or worldly in our attractions. 

As it happens, I actually made the second list (qualities I'm praying for in my husband) earlier this year.  Should have done one ages ago.  I had some council from one of the elders in my church, which helped me see a bit more clearly through the bucket-loads of qualities I had sloshing about in my mind. The only two requirements absolutely in Scripture seem to be:

1. A Christian (II Cor 6:14)
2. Must be able to provide for his family (1 Tim 5:8)

That's all! But sticking with that, of course, one can still make an unwise choice.  And even if there's nothing logically unwise about the person, there's still a huge amount of freedom involved.(Ack!)  Just because someone is marrigable doesn't mean you are the person to marry them, or that if you don't marry them that you're in sin.  So I have a short list of other things, still with Scriptural support, I think (but not explicitly commanded as requirements for marriage), what are vitally important to me, and will hopefully be helpful considerations when I am in a relationship.  Beyond those, I also have a list of Preferences (important, but not deal-breakers), and Likes (just minor stuff for consideration). 

Much to think and pray on.

I hope all my unmarried readers will be praying, too!   We have an amazing God who wants us to pour out our frustrations and heartbreaks and longings and joys to Him.  I'm learning that whether I get the answers I want or not, the joy of drawing near to God can overshadow even my saddest days with a cloud of unimagined glory.  :-)

This is one of my favorite quotes from articles, because it reminds me to hope.   

"Nobody really "settles" in a biblical marriage because God has designed marriage as a wonderful gift that gets better with age. This is what people worried about settling don't seem to get. They think joy in marriage is all about the original choice one makes about whom to marry, rather than how they nurture and build their marriage. Again, this misses the picture of biblical marriage.

Bottom line, the real danger for God's people in pursuing a spouse is that we will "settle" for the world's vision of self, love, marriage and even romance, rather than a vision of those things steeped in scripture and rooted in the love of Christ. Biblical love and marriage ask more of us than the world's selfish pursuit of non-existent perfection. But the rewards are infinitely richer."

Scott Croft's article, Settling (the original version)

Boundless Summer Challenge - Task 5

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love...

~ Romans 12:10 ~

This was Wednesday's assignment:

1. Visit or call your closest friend. (No texting, Facebooking, tweeting, or IMing.) Ask them how YOU can be a better friend to THEM. 
2. Ask if there are any areas you can improve, or ways that you can be there for them in a better way. Don't let them get off the hook by saying that you're doing just fine.
3. Spend some quality time asking questions about their life, focusing the conversation on them instead of yourself.
4. Write a comment [on the Boundless Line post] letting us know how it went.

What a good assignment!  Oddly enough (or was it more than chance?) this was another case of the task fitting right in with what I needed to do anyways!  My dear friend Catie, who I've known since I was 7 and she was 3, has been on my mind a lot lately.  Lots of changes going on in her family, what with lots of traveling, and her older brother marrying one of her dear friends... I've tried calling and emailing her these last few days, and she left a message on my phone and sent a reply email... and tonight I finally called and got to hear her cheery voice for real!

We talked about various stuff going on in our lives, books we're reading, struggles we're having...  I asked how I could pray for her specifically, something she started a while back but which I thought to bring up this time.  And I finally asked what I could do to be a better friend.  She thought about it, and finally said, "Keep in touch more!"

Duly noted.  Not complex at all.  But vitally important.

The single biggest problem in communication 
is the illusion that it has taken place. 
~ George Bernard Shaw ~

(Do look at this card - the illustration is perfect!)

 

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, 
but their echoes are truly endless.  
~ Mother Teresa~

Gratitude for my Daddy

I've begun the Boundless Summer Challenge, and so far it has been more challenging than I expected.  More reading and writing and soul-searching, as opposed to just little tasks one could pull off in 10 minutes.  I've gone from excitement about it to a bit of resentful grumpiness at feeling like I "have" to meditate on truth and be changed by it in a day.  But I think as long as I remember it's a bit of a discipline, a means for grace and for God to change or teach me as He will, no matter my apparent success or not, then I shall enjoy it much more.

Part of today's assignment is for guys to try to show love to a woman in their life (wife, mother, sister, etc.) and for girls to demonstrate respect to a significant man (husband, dad, brother, etc).  I decided to make a list of things I respect about my Dad, which I will list as this week's blessings.  :-) 

 
It's odd - part of me feels like that's cheating... But no, it's actually a sort of integration and melding of things God's been nudging me towards lately - recording my blessings, and increased gratefulness for my family.  The life He calls us to is hard, but it's also much simpler than I usually make it. 

I know I missed last week - out of town.  And yes, I know today's not Monday, again  It's barely even Tuesday anymore! Ah well. ;-)
 

Why my Daddy is Amazing 

(an only-the-tip-of-the-iceberg list)

16.   Once, when I was away at college and had major car problems, my Daddy came and rescued me.  He took the car to a shop and got the problem fixed.  He also got me my first cell phone around then, so I wouldn't get stuck on some lonely road again without being able to call for help.  I knew when he said "Call me if you need anything" that he meant it, even if it meant driving a long way.  I felt so cherished. Thanks, Daddy.

17.  He drives all the way from Houston (8+ hours) just to visit us on random weekends.

18.  He used to play The Bug Game with us on the living room floor ages ago.  If you're wondering what The Bug Game is, good reader, I'm afraid it's rather beyond description.  Let's just say it involved wrestling, tickling, increasingly challenging levels, and at least four of us piled up on the "Bug" at some point.  We probably asked every night, to the point of extreme annoyance: "Daddy, are you tired?" (translation: not "Daddy, how was work? We care about you and hope you get some rest now" but actually "Do you have enough energy saved to be the Bug for our entertainment?")  It was always the highlight of the night when dear Daddy was not too tired to play.  Or, perhaps my grown-up eyes can see a bit better now... I'm sure you were actually still tired some of those times, Daddy, but you played with us anyways.    

19.  My Daddy is clever and great at fixing things.  He's an engineer, but not just of drilling rigs and computer programs.  He engineers things like homemade boats, and clamps, and who knows what else.  He's a very hard worker. 

20.  He was brave enough to have six kids, and helped my mom through the pain and sorrow of several miscarriages and losing little Elliot (who died several days after his birth).  I say it takes a brave man to keep on trusting God for whatever children He might want to give after that!  If he hadn't, if he had said, "Four is enough," then my two youngest brothers, Isaac and Whit, would not be here.

21.  He and my mom decided before any of us came along that they wanted to teach their kids at home... back before they even knew such a thing was called homeschooling.  I am ever so grateful they chose to be radical in that way, and I'm excited and hopefully to one day carry on that legacy of homeschooling and really knowing my kids.

22.  He and my mom did some deep theological study before us kids were born.  I know that's a huge reason why I grew up with such a biblical foundation, and probably partly why I find theology so interesting - it was talked about often at our house, outside, in the car, as we walked along the way...

23.  My Daddy taught himself Russian, y'all!  He went over there for work, and decided he'd rather make the effort to learn to speak to language, rather than go the boring way of always using interpreters.  He got so good, actually, that some Russians couldn't detect an American accent when he spoke! You know, once you're grown, it's supposedly far harder to learn a new language than it is for children.  Well, my Daddy laughed in the face of such odds, and learned one. Good example for me.  It's never too late to learn a language, or a new instrument, or any such thing.

24.  He has this awesome manly engineer handwriting.  :-) 

25.  He's got a great sense of humor.

26.  He likes a good cup of tea.

27.  Whenever he comes to see us, he usually brings us each a Breakfast-on-a-Bun in the morning.  Yum! :-)

28.  He's got the coolest blue-grey eyes.

29.  He reads my blog. :-)  Not just any dad would make that effort to know what his daughter's been doing, even amid all my rambling and non-informative posts.

30.  Even though he's not perfect (neither am I!), he's one of my heroes, striving for wisdom and faithfulness and goodness, doing what he can to take care of the people in his life.  I am so blessed to be your daughter. :-)  I am so blessed to call you Daddy.

1000 Gifts and Recent Adventures

Been wanting to join the Gratitude Community for a while.  I know it's not Monday anymore, but I wrote most of this yesterday... anyways, happy un-Monday to you!    

Someone asked me recently what adventures I've had.  So I thought I'd list recent adventures, mostly of the small sort, as my first compilation of Gifts.

1.  Learning how much I don't know about the future, and other people's minds, and my own self. And how it's a mixed blessing. But mostly good, because God made it that way, and it helps me learn trust.

2.  Pretending I live in the country...watering some friends' garden and trees, feeding their chickens, skinny cats, and barrel-of-a-black lab named 'Rilla (Gorilla).   Enjoying bits of dirt and sun, water splashed on my feet, quiet conversations with the critters... and with my Father.

3.  Precious time journaling and listening, more than I have in quite a while. Rediscovering the joy of scribbled words on a page.  Of comforting, gently-prodding bits of the Word memorized  Longing for cut-in-stone answers... but even more, craving His nearness.

4.  Munching Rosa's Cafe burritos with a younger sister in the faith, discussing old books and study habits and selective memory and CDs we listen to over and over and over and over...

5.  Learning, slowly, to give my anxious heart to One who can calm it, instead of burying it in business.

6.  Buying clothes... something I always put off, but needed to do... and actually enjoyed.  It's been exciting to actually find feminine, modest, lovely clothes. May I never wish I were a boy! :-)

7.  Hearing about two friends' courtship and engagement - hurrah for Aaron and Joy! I remember when Aaron was a little boy collecting snakes, lizards, basset hounds, birds, cats, inventing the silliest stories with his Playmobile characters. And when I first met Joy, she and her clan of siblings were reading Redwall books and Greek mythology and producing their own plays and speaking in unique accents. Now he's a vet who's still wild about animals but wilder about God and family, and she's an intelligent, lively, lovely young lady passionate about truth and home. Engaged in a spot in the mountains nicknamed Sherwood. Perfect. :-)

8.  Waking up at 4 a.m. feeling rested, with plenty of time to think and read and pray.

9.  Exploring musty shelves at the used bookstore.  Finding a fresh, crisp copy of The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis for $2.  Exactly what I was wanting, but didn't expect to find there.  A surprise present from God that almost made me cry. 

10.  Renewing old acquaintances with two sisters, homeschool graduates, setting a day to investigate the downtown coffee shop.

11.  Soaking up a Sunday School lesson focused on observations, not assumptions.

12.  Sending snail mail, handwritten notes and pretty stickers across town. 

13.  Enjoying unexpected rain after intense dry West Texas heat

14.  Eating garden-fresh tomatoes with basil, vinegar, and cucumber

15.  Starting this list, officially, which I've been unofficially doing off and on for years, looking forward to a more regular habit of thankfulness. 

Anyone want to do this with me?  I probably won't be consistent on the day of the week.  I just want to record God's specific goodness and grace.  I want to open my eyes today, but also 10 years from now, to catch glimpses of His faithfulness and intimate involvement in my life.


Note: I'm playing with layout... I liked my old one terribly, and might switch back... But meanwhile, please excuse any drastic changes that show up here. :-)

"the best love letters"

"...the best love letters are the ones simply breathed and lived and laid down with a life."      ~Ann Voskamp~

Ann over at Holy Experience is such an inspiration and calming presence to me, though I've never met her.  This is a lovely post of hers I just read and had to share: How to Really Write a Love Letter 

Meditate on these things (not my list of complaints)

I am thankful for:

• Wednesday-night Bible study
• sweet fellowship with young ladies
• godly, wise mentors (today, especially Cheryl B.) 
• pens and paper
• afternoon naps
• spicy-sweet dessert tea
• ice cream
• air-conditioning
• a Sovereign God, who has everything planned and under control
• a Jealous God, who wants us to be His only
• a Patient God, who lets us make choices, even wrong ones, so we can learn
• a Loving God, who knows exactly what His children need
• a Wise God, who gives simple (thoughnot always easy) instructions for life
• my own copy of God's Word
• bagels
• Izze (Sparkling Blueberry)
• the invention of braiding
• the adventures to be had while house-sitting
• the creativeness of people
• the unexplainable
• an affectionate little dog 

Echo

You call me beloved.
I echo, till
weak, faint, fading away,
dying, trying, I say, still,
what You, Beloved,
first put into Word,
battered against your Father’s mountain,
sounding the perfect echo
that began the avalanche of saints' songs.

~Rael~

written in 2007

Literary tag

If I have ever been tagged before, I have not noticed.  Until now.  Thanks, Merriette! :-)  This is very rare, you know, but I'll do it for you and my own amusement.

1 - What is your favorite book?
The Lord of the Rings.  I know, big surprise. 

2 - Who is your favorite character in that book and why?
Samwise Gamgee, closely followed by Frodo (or vice versa, depending on when you ask me).  Sam is humble, down-to-earth, not especially clever or good with a sword or handsome or dashing or well-spoken, but he feels things deeply even when he can't say why.  He knows that he's part of a Grand Story.  He's also a hero in the highest sense of the word - faithful to the end, persistent and persevering and sacrificial, who carries his friend Frodo up Mount Doom.  He reminds me of Jesus, who is even more faithful and persistent than a hobbit, and who carried our sins and sorrows up a Hill when we could not.  And after the Evil was destroyed and it was finished, then came the waking, and finding that everything sad was coming untrue.

:-)  Oh, and Sam is a gardener, a cook, and a wellspring of hilarious phrases from the Gaffer.  How could I not like him best?

3 - If you could spend a day as a character in the book who would it be and why?
Rosie Cotton.  Because she gets to live in the Shire, marry Samwise, and have lots of cute hobbit children. ;-)  Only a day would be too short to do all that, though, so I'm ignoring that part, muhaha.

4 - Would you rather read Pride and Prejudice or Little Women?
I've read both, and P&P would probably be a quicker read, but at the moment I'd pick Little Women.  We're about to watch it for my "Young Ladies Film Society" (i.e. movie night for girls from church), and I'd like to be able to notice the big things they added/changed in the film.

5 - Where is your favorite place to read a good book?
I've had many.  Once it was the tree in my grandparents' back yard, which alas, is now gone.   Often on my bed, in the car, by a cozy fire, or at the kitchen table with a plate of something yummy.  These days, it's mostly on the couch.  With a mug of tea or coffee, ideally, and sometimes a bit of chocolate.

I shall not tag, but if you want to answer the same questions, of course you're quite free too.

Lovely Wednesday night to you all!  I think I shall go refresh my coffee now, and read my current book - Dug Down Deep, by Joshua Harris, which I did end up buying and which has been quite refreshing and good.

Barren

Our desires for fruitfulness are inborn. 

Certainly we can try to be fruitful in greedy, selfish ways, or by wrong means.  But the desire itself is not wrong.  We were designed that way, which is why God told us at the start to be fruitful and multiply.  He didn't say it as a burden - He meant us to be happy, satisfied in His abundance, to fulfill our role of kings and queens.

Yet after we let the Serpent twist our views of God and His goodness, we were sent from our perfect Garden.  Now, roaming the dark and thorny world, we are thwarted at every turn.

Barrenness.
Poverty.
Broken relationships.
Unsatisfying work.
Thoughts that wander into gloom and despair.

I went out yesterday with a friend to the middle-of-nowhere West Texas desert prairie, and walked around a bit amongst the thorn-laden mesquites and rocks and dirt. I thought of a choice I felt I had to make recently, which hurt someone dear to me and made me sad as well.  The consequences of that choice are more difficult to bear than I could have imagined.

Crackling grass scorched in the summer wind.

Earth parched and dusty.  Nothing could hope to grow here.

But then, in the death and stillness of the air, there rises the sweet smell of wildflowers, and their tenacious blossoms, prickly and small and lovely, shine at my feet.

I think, perhaps, our lives can be like this.  Sometimes everything seems not only unfruitful, but even dead.

Wait.  Out of the death of loss, something is about to grow. 

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls —
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18

All the food, all reason to keep working, all the hope for the future appears to be gone.   Nothing is fulfilling its designed purpose. 

Yet the writer is not simply accepting the death and barrenness as his lot to be born mournfully, with a face of woe and despair.  Instead, he's actually choosing from deep in his soul to smile, to be glad!  Because he remembers God is good, and He saves in more abundance and more mysterious ways than in making wildflowers spring up in the desert.

I want to choose joy.  I want to grow old with smile wrinkles outnumbering my complaining lines.  I want to rejoice in the Lord when my life feels like a barren desert.  Because that is the best growing soil for faith in God who makes all things new.

~

Harris, Humility, and Hunger

"What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place. 

G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Last night I roamed among the shelves of Barnes and Nobles with my mom and older brother Sam (visiting from Iowa).  Settling myself in an overstuffed chair, I read bits of two books by Joshua Harris: his newest one, Dug Down Deep, and an older one which I somehow never got around to reading, Boy Meets Girl.  Here are good summaries from the author on what these books are about:

Dug Down Deep: Unearthing What I Believe and Why It Matter is my reveling in theology in my own simple way – not too polished, sometimes awkward, less than scholarly, hopefully gracious and faithful.  Even though these are deep truths, I don't pretend to be swimming in the deep end of the pool.  I'm splashing in the shallow end.  But if my splashing can inspire you to dive in, I will have succeeded.

~~~

I know the last thing most singles want is more rules and, in Boy Meets Girl, I wanted to offer an alternative: an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse. In the book, I discuss how biblical courtship (a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating) worked for me and my wife Shannon, to give an encouraging and practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they're serious about.

The little bits I read in that hour were both refreshing and challenging. 

Perhaps its that "Humble Orthadoxy" that stands firm on Scriptural truth with a heart of humility and love for people even as we abhor sin.   Perhaps its the realization that Harris came from a similar background as me (a big family of conservative homeschoolers), so his struggles and challenges sound very similar.  Or perhaps its the fact that he shares how he's grown in living out the Christian faith in such a vulnerable and passionate way.

Anyways, I woke up this morning hungry.  Hungry for more of those good books.  But mainly hungry for more Scripture, where my roots should always be growing deeper.  The fact that I am neither as humble nor as firm in my convictions as I should be is not excusable.  But neither is it cause for despair, because that's the point - truth is true whether I follow it or not.  And how much better to see where I'm wrong and change, something God always invites us to do.

As Gandalf says with his quiet, winking smile, "And that is an encouraging thought."

Pride juggles with her toppling towers,

They strike the sun and cease,

But the firm feet of humility

They grip the ground like trees.  

 

G.K. Chesterton, The Ballad of the White Horse

Have you been "hungry" for a particular book lately, or found any good quotes on true humility?

Authentic Relating

"Authentic Relating" is something I've been trying to practice lately.  It means being willing to share the truth about what we think and feel with others, to show them our real selves, and to be willing to hear them without jumping to conclusions.  It means not using manipulation, or trying to find out what they want to hear.  When it's working well, it's two people interacting - with each other, not with pretend versions of themselves.

Let me tell you, it's tough!  But after all the pain and tears, I think it will be worth it, because truth and love always are.

"Authenticity is the courage to love 

with a rigorous inside-out consistency."

Authentic Phony, from Boundless  

"Truth is the lifeblood of relationships."

Glaen, by Fred Lybrand

Do I Value Life?

I've been thinking about children, family, and the old question of "How many kids do you want?" lately.   Reading lots of blogs, writing rambling thoughts...  Some of it reminded me of why I believe as strongly as I do.  Some of it pointed out various lies and traps of Satan I have fallen into, generally regarding reactions motivated through fear.  But also a bad habit of almost worshiping big families for their numbers alone.

I confess, I need often be reminded that, as much fun as I think a huge family would be, the number God has in mind will be perfect, whether it be ten, one, or none. It is my inward attitude toward the sovereign God and my neighbors that is the most vital, as I was reminded in these words from Stacy MacDonald:

You see, it’s not about numbers—an out of wedlock mother of eight who is paid by the government to stay unmarried and dependent on the state could easily out breed most of us, if given enough incentive.

No; it’s about faithfulness. It’s about instilling in our children, our church, and our culture a passion for purity, children, family, and most of all, Jesus. It’s about raising up godly seed (Christian children) who aren’t focused on living for their own fleeting pleasures; but, are instead committed to glorifying God and enjoying Him forever—which involves loving one’s neighbor as one’s self.

"For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”" (Galatians 5:14, ESV)

But you see, before we can do that, we have to believe it. Really believe it. We have to believe it so much that we are living it out each day without even thinking. We must value each life as much as we value our own—way down deep…

Life. Its value, it seems, is measured only in what it offers us—or how it threatens to inconvenience us. The more I contemplate the value of children, the more I realize that my view of children is bound up in how I value life. Am I truly loving my neighbor, my own family, the lost, the poor? Am I looking for ways to bring more and more glory to my Lord?

…Here’s the thing. It’s not about whether or not you believe birth control is a sin. It’s really not about that at all, and in some ways it distracts us from the real point. The real issue is far, far more important. It’s about loving God, loving our neighbor, loving life, embracing His revealed will, and working hard to live out the Gospel honestly and faithfully before a watching...and desperate world. 

Read the rest of Stacy's gracious post

Honestly, I am selfish. Loving people, investing in their lives, is a challenge for me. Often I’d much rather go off and do my own thing – watch a movie, read a book, have time by myself with my own cup of tea. The mindset and life God calls us to is hard stuff! Do I have what it takes to love even one person for the rest of my life? Even for ten years? One year? A day?

No. Alone, I don’t. But with God, all things are possible.